“I betrayed my wife,i betrayed myself,i killed men,and i ordered men to be killed.I...I kill...I ordered the death of my brother,he injured me.....I kill my mother's son......I kill my father's son.....”
Don't you just take the past & put it in a room in the basement & lock the door & never go in there? That's what I do. And then you meet someone special and all you want to do is toss them the key, say "Open up step inside." But you can't because it's dark and there are demons.